pandas are loved by people all over the world

so, a family friend of mine is producing an audio recording of an ESL lesson for chinese kids. since i have a partial degree in voice training (ahem the bull), i was approached as a possible candidate. now, before entering the recording studio, i've been asking to submit a recording sample. unfortunately my demo tape (!) was, um, unavailable, and so i collaboratively came up with the idea to record a sample on garageband. to do this, the producer would send me samples from the "script" to work with.

looking over the script, i couldn't help but notice how fucking weird this tape is going to be. in the past when practicing language tapes (and i've tried french, italian, and czech), its usually a combination of somewhat useful phrases like "i'll have a coffee, please" or "where is the train station?". these poor chinese kids are going to get none of that. check out the sentences i've been asked to record (this is all of them, i haven't weeded out the stranger ones or anything):

pandas are loved by people all over the world.
she has taken to teaching like a duck to water.
we saw the tiger pouncing on the goat.
can you distinguish a goat from a sheep?
when the tree falls, the monkeys scatter.

and then there is the brief dialogue for which i've also been asked to simulate the male voice. practicing has been tons of fun already. i've been trying to analyze this role for some motivation on the female's part, but i keep picking up on the sexual overtones of these words...

W: What are we having for lunch?
M: What do you like?
W: I like cucumbers!
M: I like them, too.
W: Good, we are good friends.

is it just me, or are these chinese kids going to be smothered with some lunchtime phallic imagery?